The 911 call went something like this:

I got a call last night for a dog bite investigation. That was what was given to me over the police radio. Ok, I’ve done a few of these calls before. Off I go to the reported location.

I get on scene with the ambulance and we find the victim, she and her friend were walking his pit bull and at some point the dog got agitated for some reason or another and whammo, the dog snaps and bites her twice. Once in the arm and once in the groin. They weren’t terribly vicious bites but there was discoloration and obvious injury. I handled the call and called in for a return to the station to write an incident report. It was granted and I returned.

Upon my return the calltaker comes over and quietly asks me where the victim had been bitten. Me, knowing all the right and wrong things to say in mixed company says “she got bitten in the arm and the cookie” The calltaker tells me I cleaned up the description from what she got from the 911 caller.

Calltaker: 911 what is your emergency

Caller: Yeah, could you send someone, my sister just got bit by a dog and we dont know if it’s infected or not

Calltaker: Ok, we are sending assistance, where was your sister bitten?

Caller: right on the side of her Pu…..ssy

Calltaker: (long, long pause) Ahhhh, WHERE??????

Caller: You know, her pussy, right here (as if the calltaker could actually see her pointing to her goods)

CallTaker: Ok Ambulance and Police are enroute.

Yeah, you would have thought that the calltaker would have given me a heads up like call into dispatch for details or something but no. She figgured it would be funnier to send me in cold and let me fend for myself. I learned two very important lessons though

• Life on the job is never boring
• Calltakers can be so evil sometimes.