Ok for those of you who hadn’t heard me bitch about it, this year I had the rare privledge of working Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve and New Years. Sure the cash was good, but I missed out on a lot of good holiday partying.
Some thoughts on the holiday calls:
- On Christmas Eve I fielded a loud party call, arriving on scene I found a small gathering with a rinky dink radio getting their Christmas on, The old squirrely hagbag upstairs called on them. I say OLD SQUIRRELY HAGBAG because she took the week off and then pulled the same shit on New Years at which point I found out from hagbags daughter that hagbag has recently returned from how shall I say this (a manditory vacation at happyville sanitarium) and has a thing about noise of all kinds. When I advised hagbag that they were in no way in violation of any city ordinance she called me every name in the book and demanded my name so she could (in her words) rat me out to my superiors. I told her I was officer Kurt Schilling (I’m a Red Sox fan so sue me)
- Words of wisdom to potential armed robbers, put your masks on BEFORE you walk by the store surveillance camara. Just spitballing here but I’m thinking clown college would better suit you boys rather than a life of crime.
- When I was younger and not a cop I loved them but now I have to say GIRL FIGHTS JUST SUCK BIGTIME, two guys get to scrapping, they beat the bag out of eachother and then either go back into the club and have some beers or at the very least they generally shut the fuck up when the cops show up, Not girls Noooooooooooooo, I’m standing in between these two “female combatants” and both of them are jaw jawing at eachother around me until we finally had enough and the seargeant calmly advised them that we would lock both of their silly asses up if they didn’t clam up. By the way a side note to those two brain dead Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan wannabees, the guy you were fighting over is a scumbag. and if your gonna chickfight c’mon lose some clothes make it interesting at least doggone it.
- I hate rappers- we had a “celebrity dj” at one of our local hiphop clubs recently, I shit you not this guy’s stagename is Jim Jones (all I could think of was kool aide, yeah I know, I’m showing my age here) But this guy hides out in his stretch hummer limo gets rushed in a back door by all of us cops and this guy’s parting words to the crowd was basically that the cops are waiting to fuck with you if you give them a reason to so don’t give the bastards the satisfaction. We had to usher him back outside where he jumps back into his super fly ride and his driver takes off leaving a patch of rubber up the street. I wish I’d have thought beforehand to copy the plate # cause I’d have written his dumb ass a ticket. (ok petty and childish maybe but damn it would have made me feel a bit better)
- I have realized that I indeed have a coffee addiction, Christmas Eve at 5:30pm until Christmas Day at 5:30pm Dunkin Donuts was closed and was like beside myself thinking I would have to settle for Store 24 brand or perish the thought home made coffee, Ohhh the horror. I’m looking into a coffe patch as we speak.
Well folks thats all for my fond look back at the Holiday Festivities, I’m on to 2007 who’s with me?