The Night Of Cops and Samaraui’s and Ninja’s Oh Myyyyy

We got hammered with calls the other night. Any time the weather breaks all the kooks hit the streets. We had fights, domestics, car crashes, missing persons, you name it we had it.

The CRAZIEST most INTERESTING part was the woman who called 911 to let us know that her brother, who is diagnosed with psych issues, has taken their sister, who is going through chemotherapy, hostage and is in an apartment alternately threatening to kill his hostage and himself and begging the family to kill him.

Units go off at the scene and he abandons the hostage (who is now having an asthma attack) and takes off somewhere in the building.

As the officers are searching the buildings interior the ambulance pulls up to find the guy handcuffed, jumping up and down on the roof of one of the cruisers outside. Being EMT’s who used to the craziness of this city, they ignore him and look for the Official in charge of the scene, casually they ask about the guy jumping up and down on the police car. This guy snuck out the back as the guys were going in the front, was nice enough to handcuff himself for us with his own sexshop handcuffs, but then he had to let us know he was there so thats when he decided to jump up and down on a copcar in order to announce his presence. Needless to say all units rushed to the new scene, got out the butterfly net, got the guy and shipped him up to the funny farm.

The calls just kept coming in though, we were getting punchy and by the end it was like what else could happen???

And thats where this story gets kinda weird……..

One of the guys on my shift was having a birthday party for his kid the next day and on his way to work last night he picked up a TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume) and secured it in the dispatch center for safe keeping till he picked it up at the end of the shift. So it was there all night (shell, headpiece, and stuff)

It was an unseasonably warm night and there is no airflow inside our decrepit old station, so we had doors and windows propped open so we could breathe.

Well, I decided to take a break and get some air outside as I walked out of the dispatch center I bump into a drunk guy with his bicycle in the “off limits” side of the station.

I look and the lobby doors are still securely locked, Hmmmmmm thats weird.

Then I realized that the rear entry of the station all the doors were left propped open and he decided to come in for a visit with the comrades in blue, he made it all the way inside (with his bicycle) unmolested, he was a nice enough happy drunk and I decided to have some fun…

I spoke with him briefly, excused myself and after I alerted the other guys and girls inside the station that he was there ,I snuck into dispatch, put on the shell and headpiece and walked back out and picked up the conversation where I left off. It took him a second but the look on his face when he realized I turned into a turtle was priceless.

I think he may have quit drinking on the spot. He finished his visit shortly thereafter and went home.



10 thoughts on “The Night Of Cops and Samaraui’s and Ninja’s Oh Myyyyy

  1. You’re having way too much fun!! Most of our department is locked down 24/7, so we don’t get a lot of people wandering about. The main lobby is open and that’s where most of the crazies and homeless can be found sleeping on the benches. Until we kick them out, that is.

  2. Brandon- Unfortunately no videotape, but every time I replay it in my mind, I get a warm fuzzy chuckle

    Brent- In this place, if you don’t find some way to laugh, then it will drive you even insaner.
    We are the Island of Misfit Toys here

  3. OMG This is hysterical! I always see cops being so ‘serious’ in the line of duty. How funny to see it from the other side!

  4. hanks Amira and Little- Seriousness is overrated anyways. I like to find some little ways to blow off steam and keep things from getting too heavy

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