911 FUNNIES

BELIEVE it or not ,

These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller:  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher:
9-1-1 What is your emergency?
CallerSomeone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher :
Excuse me?
Caller
I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller
No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller:   I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher:
This is nine eleven.
Caller:    I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher:
Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller:    Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid. 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller:    My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller:   
No, you idiot! This is her husband!

Dispatcher:
9-1-1
Caller:   </SPA N>Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller:   I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: !
Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller:   No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller:   ; Running from the Police.

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2 thoughts on “911 FUNNIES

  1. WHOW- Your welcome, anytime I can bring a laugh or two,I’ve done my job (ask Enforcerwife)

    I swear I’ve talked to a few of these people on the streets.

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