Ok here goes.

Enforcerwife is a serial book reader. I totally enjoy reading but I have to be in the mood for it and I go through spurts and phases with reading, Imostly like biography and history. Enforcerwife has shelves full of books and is always buying more books. (she is to the literary world what Imelda Marcos is to the shoe world)

However, in her last book buying binge (notice the illeteration, 3 words beginning with the letter b, huh? huh? impressive no?) Enforcerwife grabbed a little book called “The Secret” it’s kinda a self help book that stresses the power of positive thinking. (From what I’m told Oprah swears by it ) I guess for some reason be it the color of the book cover or the fact that it is a tiny hard cover book that looked like a fast read it kinda piqued my interest.

I brought it to work last night. I ended up drawing short straw errrr. I mean I got chosen to dispatch so I got to start reading the book during downtime and it was kinda interesting.

Now don’t go getting worried. Yes, I read a self help book. Yes, I enjoyed it, but I will still be the same blogwriting Enforcer that puts the FUN in Dys-FUN-ctional I promise.

The best part of the whole experience last night was the fact that my Seargent (and good friend) who is one hell of a nice guy but has the same gruff exterior and sarcastic sense of self and humor as I do came into dispatch and caught me reading the book.

He ragged on me about the whole self help guru bullshit and busted my chops about how the power of positive thinking scene is so not me (if you read some back posts you will see that he is not off the mark with that assessment)

But him ragging me meant I had to one up him (its a guy thing) and I did so by spouting offto him about his negative karma and how, he should only let in the positive thoughts, like warming rays of the sun and how he too could be helped, I offered him the book when I was finished reading it.

The look on his face was priceless. I was soooo friggin zenlike, I went all Ghandi on his ass, to the point where he bet me $10 dollars I couldn’t stay in my state of grace until our rotation is over this week. I got 2 days left to go and that sweet 10 dollar greenback is mine baby.

So if you see me chanting or lighting incense or whatnot, it’s just me waiting out the bet. He’s already told me he is gonna pair me up in a two man car with the most annoying cops he can find for the next two nights. Bring it on baby I got the ying AND the yang on my side!!!!

While we were going back and forth the midnights leutennant came in looking for someone to work the overnight shift and me and my damned state of grace voluntered (just to show the seargent how “one with the universe” I actually am)

So now here I sit in the booking room as beast master (booking officer) thinking SEE I showed him !!!!! didn’t I ? huh, yeah who’s zenlike now mo-fo?

But I’m going on 13 hours in this police station now, I’m beginning to know the convicts by name and what their astrological signs are and I’m now feeling very tired and wondering if I may have taken this whole one upsmanship thing too far, perhaps I’m too competitive?

Nawwww, theres a 10 spot riding on it.


(I’ll let ya know how it turns out)



  1. Your wife was smart to buy the book. I wasted $ on the DVD…which I know I’ll never watch again. They filled it with so much mystical bullshit…animals running, lightening crashing…and it pretty much all boiled down to “you are what you think about all day”. Whoopee! Like I haven’t read that in a million other self-help books.

  2. Dang it Goddess I’d have never thunk you to be a self help chick.

    Enforcerwife had a rough day at work today and when I went all Susie Sunshine on her, she told me just where I could shove the book.

    I am having way tooo much fun with this. Forget the good feelings and all that. heres what it boils down to for me:

  3. Yay for Enforcerwife. I too, am an Imelda Marcos of books.

    So how is the Zen going? You must be nearly at the end now. I agree, Zenning out on people is brilliant. But I save it for special occasions, when I can really set them off balance.

  4. Sol- I love the fact that Enforcerwife loves books, but we gotta work on her parting with them afterwards (or at least stashing em away in boxes or sumthin)

    On Zen- Yeah I’m learning that it’s exhausting tokeep in the state of grace. I too am gonna save it in reserve for when I truly need it šŸ˜‰

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