ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS THAT MAKE COPS CRAZY

When a police officer asks simple questions we are not expecting simpleton answers. If it only happened once in awhile I would chalk it up to someone being a wiseass or a braincramp, but when it happens almost every time I begin to suspect that  there is a Hogwarts type school somewhere in the world that teaches criminal and witness types how to answer a police officers questions with the dumbest possible answers that are designed to produce an overwelming desire on the officers part to choke the living shit out of the criminal/witness type. I will give examples:

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Officer Friendly: Sir what is your name?

Serious Nitwit: Who me???? (this is usually accompanied by a look around the immediate area only to find that we are the only living creatures within a 50 mile radius)

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Officer Friendly: Where do you live?

Serious Nitwit: Over There….. (this is usually accompanied by a point in an either north, south, east, or west direction. But can also be substituted with the following: In a house, Here, There, I don’t know because I just moved here, By the school, Near the river, It goes on ad nauseum)

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Officer Friendly: (to the guy who has led him on a 3 block chase away from a house that he has just burglarized)   Are you currently employed?

Serious Nitwit: No I’m on disability, workmans comp, etc…..

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 Officer Friendly: (To a witness who has just given a spot on description of the bad guy who has just committed a serious offense and has been grabbed right around the corner by his backup unit Officer SweetAsPie) I need your name for the report.

Serious Nitwit: Ohhhhh, thats a problem, I don’t want to get involved

(EDITORS COMMENT) THEN WHY DID YOU CALL IN THE FIRST PLACE? I CANNOT MAKE A CASE AGAINST HIM THAT WON’T GET RIPPED APART BY A MODERATELY GOOD DEFENSE ATTORNEY WITHOUT YOUR DAMNED TESTIMONY

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Officer Friendly: (To the guy who has just opened the door at the address given for a 911 hangup with loud screaming heard in the background) Can I come in?

Serious Nitwit: Sure, if  you have a warrant, officer…..

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There are so many more, but I’ll end my list here.

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2 thoughts on “ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS THAT MAKE COPS CRAZY

  1. I love it when cops trip people up simply by asking for a name. “You got this car from a friend? What’s your friend’s name?”
    “Oooh, I don’t know his name…”

    “You say this woman riding in your car is your friend? And you’re just giving her a ride? What’s her name?”
    “Ummm….uh, it’s…well, I don’t know her name.”

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