I say this because only a cops wife could recieve this greeting and know that there was nothing tawdry going on.

Me (after finishing up a call and noticing that I had a missed call from the Enforcerwife) : Hi hun, I would have called you back sooner but I was rolling around with a hooker on the bridge.

Enforcerwife: Good then does that mean I don’t have to give it up to you when you get home from work?????

Heres the rundown:
I was working the other night and got a call to back up another officer on a traffic stop on one of the bridges in the city. I arrive on scene and he had the female party out of the vehicle, she was a known hooker and her story was her “friend” was giving her a ride home. I went over to the “friend” and he went to pieces like a cheap house of cards in a hurricane. He told me he was out to get his horn scraped, and was going to pay her $40 bucks and they were driving somewhere private when they got stopped.
I then turned my attention to helping the other officer, seems hookergirl doesn’t wanna give up her purse. (I wouldn’t either if there was a knot of cocaine in there like she had) well, when we found her stuff the other cop handcuffed her and we led her to the patrol car. Evidently though, either her hooker training with handcuffs or the other officers poor handcuffing technique or just that she had tiny wrists, she had freed herself and wasn’t about to go in the patrol car and she was one wiry and nimble chick too.

We tried everything (and it looked like one of those old cartoons where theyre trying to stuff a cat in a box and each time they think they got it another limb pops out and pushes away from the box, she actually did a split and had one leg wedged against each doorjam) We decide to bring her to the ground and reassess the situation, however the minute she hit the ground she successfully crawled halfway underneath the patrol car and grabbed onto the frame of the car. There we are one of us pulling each of her legs trying to pull her back out.

We finally got the situation under control and all was right with the world. But there were a lot of cars on the bridge at the time, so if you see a youtube video fitting that description, lemme know will ya?



  1. By the way, might oughtta watch out when you call us all broads. Some of us resemble that remark more than you’d like to imagine.;-)

  2. I have written of a negative experience working with the police, and would like to have your opinion, please.

  3. Flat- Thanks for reminding me, the part I forgot to put in was that the “john” was this meekly old man who looked like he could have been someones grandfather. No warrants or even any prior entries on his criminal record. Just a silly old boob.

    Nicole- She deffinately has the same sarcastic wry sense of humor that I do and it very much works for us.

  4. More than the images in my mind are the sound effects. I can just imagine how you’re dishing the “you have the right to remain silent.. ” to a kicking, screaming, cursing woman who does acrobatics while you try to handcuff her.

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