TRASH CONTROL SPECIALIST AT YOUR SERVICE

Ya ever have one of those days. I went into work tonight, and I’m tellin ya it was hot humid and sticky at the beginning of the shift. The patrol car I was assigned to was in the shop for repairs so I had to find another one. Detectives had me come up and compare notes on an initial investigation I had done a few nights ago (which is really cool) because I appreciate that (to me it seems)  they are comfortable with my assessment of situations and ask me for my input.

I inspected and got on the road about 45 minutes after roll call, the dispatcher asked me to make a coffee run for them. I did , partly because I’m a nice guy, partly because the dispatcher offered to buy my coffee. I made the run and brought it back. I still had some piss and vinegar (as my grandpa used to say) left in me and was ready to do some pro active police work. Dispatch calls me back into the station, it seems as if the donut shop left out one coffee and it was the dispatchers (I’m no dummy, a happy dispatcher is a good thing, an unhappy, uncaffinated dispatcher can screw you in so many ways) So I trudged back off to the donut shop and got the dispatcher a coffee. I brought it back and finally hit the road about an hour and a half into the shift. I fielded a bunch of alarm calls and a surprising amount of  “the kids are being noisy outside calls”  Now I can see if they were blasting music out of boomboxes and having impromptu block parties, but one of them was sitting on his stairs talking to a friend dribbling a basketball.

The call of the night award goes to the person who called “not for someone lighting fireworks” but because they left the cylinder in the roadway” and “absolutely no one would stop to clean it up” so could we be a buddy and send a car over there to clear it away?

Yup, that was my call and the thing that pissed me off the most is that it is trash collection night, the caller couldn’t have gotten off their happy ass, picked it up and deposited it in the trash pile 5 feet away from where it was left. Add sanitation specialist to my resume.

Come to think of it, most of my job is to get the riff raff and garbage off the streets. So from now on instead of letting people know I’m a cop when I’m off duty and they ask me what I do I’m  just telling them I’m a garbage man.

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