Ok so I get a call today, the info from the dispatcher is sparse (Male on phone requesting police, female in background crying, then the caller hung up, no answer on callback)

Oh great an unknown! I hate unknowns, I like knowns, I like to have the in-fo….I like to be able to formulate a plan of action that 99 times out of 100 will go to shit the moment I get on scene. Unknowns are well….UNKNOWN!!!!

Could be something

Could be noothing

We just don’t know???

So I roll up on scene and theres this kid sitting on the stairs looking down holding his phone with an expression of Mr. Policeman I want to be anywhere but here. Standing right next to him was a girl, clutching onto the arm of his shirt, with the worst case of  raccoon looking,cried out eye shadow that I’ve ever seen   (I swear I almost jumped to the conclusion that he punched her in the face and gave her two black eyes at first glance) Both the guy and girl were about 17 years old and go to the local High School.

I tactically make my approach and ask for them to identify themselves and briefly tell me what the problem is.

The guy tells me his name and date of birth, good start

The girl, well lets just say I honestly thought that the only 13 words she could say were: “I just wanted to talk to him, I dont want to get arrested!!!”,

Please tell me your name mam?

“I just wanted to talk to him, I dont want to get arrested!!!”,

What is the problem today?

“I just wanted to talk to him, I dont want to get arrested!!!”,

Well, I think you get the point

When my backup got on scene we finally sorted through all the b/s of what happened today, they got dismissed from school today and she followed him trying to apologize and rekindle their relationship, he told her several times he really didn’t want to talk to her and that she needed to leave him alone, finally in desperation he told her if she didn’t stop following him, he was going to call the cops, she didn’t and he did.

Now as it happens, ironically, the backup officer had fielded a call a few weeks ago with these same 2 individuals. He tells me that on his call he learned they had been going out for about two years and the guy broke off the relationship, so the girl did what any rational thinking young lady would do…

Move on you say? Nope

Get a hot looking stud and make him eat his heart out you say? Nope

She crept to his house under cover of darkness and smashed a window with a rock, unfortunately for her his mommy was pulling in the driveway as she made her escape and identified her.

Well at least that explains the “I dont want to get arrested” I think to myself, and chuckle a bit.

So I make sure both of them dont have any warrants or anything and make a big production of pulling the guy aside and loudly admonishing him for not talking to the dispatcher and hanging up on them when he called for assistance, however under my breath and outside of earshot of raccoon girl I strongly advise him to seek a restraining order and let him know that I’m going to keep interviewing her for only A FEW MOMENTS MORE… <Hint-Hint> I then yell at him to get the hell home now!!! He takes the hint and makes like Bruce Jenner down the street.

I keep asking her stupid questions for a bit so that she can’t chase him down and have another try at him (not so much for his safety but for my sanity) If she catches him, he will call us again and I will again have to play kiddie counselor.

So ended the crime of the century for today, but I couldn’t help but wonder if the guy had a pet rabbit and fear for its safety



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