Ok, now that I got your attention, technically she wasn’t super hawt, she was cute in that dirty bad girl sort of way with the tatts and piercing’s)


she’s only been a lesbian for a few months but I digress.


I got a call for a walk in complaint for threats. Seems as if HLS (hot lesbian stripper) either did or didn’t tell her sister about the sisters cheating husband. Cheating husband then left some very volatile violent threats on HLS voicemail. (I do love idiot suspects who do the “proving” part of my job for me) I took down all the info and then had her sit in one of the report rooms and write out her account of the incident in her own handwriting. I did not yet know she was a HLS as of this point in the story, but again I’m getting ahead of myself.


While I was doing that one of my co-workers asked me if I had change for a $5 for the candy vending machine. I peeled off five ones for him, to which he commented “Using up your stripper roll?” I chuckled and told him his mama was only going to get spare change from me this week.

That’s when I hear coming from the report room “what you guys got against strippers?”

By this time I am beginning to really laugh, either I’m being expertly punked or I just inserted my foot directly in my mouth trying to be a wiseass. I look at her and say “lemme guess you are a stripper, what are the freaking odds of that?” She gave me that boy don’t you feel stupid smile and told me that yes she was a stripper and where she worked. Letting us know it’s a high end champagne club. To which I nudged my coworker and said “I think she’s telling us that we cops don’t make enough scratch to get in there” I gave her the boy don’t you feel stupid smile as she began backpedaling We all then had a spirited debate on the best strip clubs in the area and she then tried to recruit one of our meter maids as a stripper.

End result, coworker got his candy bar, HLS call will be investigated, meter maid is mulling over a career change and I had tons of paperwork to get through.


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