The stuff they didn’t tell you when you went through the academy

So most of my posts will have some sort of funny anecdote or involve quirky stuff that happens on the job. Im not sure if its that I’ve hit crusty old veteran status or just the fact that with society as screwed up as it is, This stuff isn’t as much fun as it used to be. That being said this post is a cautionary tale, one of an officer that paid close attention to all the bookwork, physical training and most of all tactics. Within the last 3 years this officer has seen massive changes, both good and bad … Continue reading The stuff they didn’t tell you when you went through the academy

HONEST I SWEAR, IT WAS THE DOG THAT DID THE SHOOTING

I’ll bet that even with such a title you probably still will not be able to venture a guess at where I’m going with this post. So I’ll just go on and tell you. See it goes like this… Friday night was a busy one in the city. Several calls right off the bat and finally after my 3rd or fourth call I was able to start heading across city to the only open 24 hours Dunkin’s. As Im heading that way I hear a radio broadcast from one of my friend/ coworkers for shots fired (nitwits shooting out the window … Continue reading HONEST I SWEAR, IT WAS THE DOG THAT DID THE SHOOTING

Bodily Function Policing (Disclaimer, Gross Material, Read at your own risk)

Ok, so there are a few things the drill instructors “neglect” to tell us fresh faced raw recruits when we are being trained for our “calling” in the noble profession of policing. Here’s one: We deal with people who give a shit litterally We have one totally skanky, junkie, hooker, general pain in the ass who I swear is part cockroach (And I mean that come the Armageddon, 3 things will survive, Cockroaches, Keith Richards, and This Ho’) Today my first call, mind you it was before I was able to get my sweet nectar of the gods (Dunkin Donuts, … Continue reading Bodily Function Policing (Disclaimer, Gross Material, Read at your own risk)

SARCASM: It will bite you in the ass!!!!!

Ok so a little back story. We have a rookie cop working days who is a real go-getter. Some say he’s bucking for detectives, some say he really still thinks he can save everyone. Me I honestly believe he just hasn’t had the “Ohh Shit” call, the call every wretched grizzled veteran has had.The call where you realize at some point (either during it, or more commonly sometime afterwards) that fate has stepped in, that you, your partner, an innocent bystander, the bad guy or all of the above in all honesty probably shouldn’t be doing the whole “alive” thing. … Continue reading SARCASM: It will bite you in the ass!!!!!

CRAZY,CRAZY YES WE DO, WE GOT CRAZY HOWBOUT YOU?

Ok so I get a call today, the info from the dispatcher is sparse (Male on phone requesting police, female in background crying, then the caller hung up, no answer on callback) Oh great an unknown! I hate unknowns, I like knowns, I like to have the in-fo….I like to be able to formulate a plan of action that 99 times out of 100 will go to shit the moment I get on scene. Unknowns are well….UNKNOWN!!!! Could be something Could be noothing We just don’t know??? So I roll up on scene and theres this kid sitting on the … Continue reading CRAZY,CRAZY YES WE DO, WE GOT CRAZY HOWBOUT YOU?

A No Hitter

OK, so in baseball, a no hitter is a really good thing for a pitcher, acolades,front page above the fold headlines, and a bargaining chip for the next round of contract talks….. For a cop working in a busy, crime ridden, god forgotten, old mill city  its an even better thing, it means I wasn’t dispatched to any calls for the entire 8hr shift. I backed up a few other cops on their calls, and moved a few double parkers along, but dispach never called my car number today. It was awesome, no paperwork, no being stuck at any particular … Continue reading A No Hitter